The Upsetting Parody of Fear-Inducing Pastas

Once upon a time, i was traversing the route from my humble abode to the nearest video displaying device-based entertainment device purchasing facility when i spotted a weary, troubled, drab-looking old fellow with a video displaying device-based entertainment device he was willing to sell for approximately 1.26 Reichsmarks. Because my predicament required the usage of such currency to obtain the video displaying device-based entertainment devices i had originally intended to obtain through the usage of said currency, I purchased and obtained it from the dusty ol' chap and proceeded to my shelter-unit. I inserted the video display device-based entertainment device into my video display device-based entertainment device decoding device and begun to indulge myself in it's contents when suddenly a hyper-realistic, bright flash caused by the chain reaction of fissile materials approximately 1.2 kilometers, 74 meters, and 234 centimeters of distance away from my exact position caused the dismantlement of my house, and my physical body, thus destroying all my life-sustaining-related physical body functions, and causing me to expire. Then, large boulders, ranging from 2-3 meters across rained from the sky, presumably caused by said previously mentioned nuclear blast. My disembodied spirit, and the disembodied spirits of all other individuals in my neighborhood slowly rose up from the sky. However, I was brought to a horrific reaction when the skeletal structure of a male Homo sapiens sapiens erupted from a local cemetery and proceeded to preform a most horrendous, terrifying action.

IT STARTED DANCING.


And thus, this concludes my story and your time reading here. Good day, fine sir! Of course, some of you may wonder, if i am deceased, then how am i producing this

''completely and most definitely true and non-fictional story? ''

The world may never know!
also,

YO'URE WILL BE THE NEXT VICTIM OF THE HORRIFIC EVENTS THAT TOOK PLACE IN THIS STORY!